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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22404739">push back</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/applebed/pseuds/applebed'>applebed</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dubious Consent, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Physical Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Unhealthy Relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 11:54:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,014</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22404739</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/applebed/pseuds/applebed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's like she wants him to hurt her.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Original Female Character/Original Male Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>push back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"What the fuck are you doing?"<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was nearly 3 o'clock in the goddamn morning when David woke up to the other side of his bed empty.  The occurrence was by no means rare. His girlfriend wasn't just an insomniac, she was a full blown basket case.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The fact she was pacing around their living room with a half empty duffle bag was proof enough. Half full, if he had been optimistic about the situation. He was not.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every light in the house was on besides those that had been in their shared bedroom. Their mostly empty living room was clean enough. However, the contents of her unzipped pack was a mess of random objects she deemed valuable. Notebooks, gel pens, and unfolded laundry (which included a shirt with a sleeve currently dragging across the floor).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't be here anymore." Charlie said in a voice that cracked. Her bleached-until-white hair was a bird's nest of tangled curls. She was still dressed in nothing but slouching socks and a thin satin nightgown, a strap having fallen to hang limply off her shoulder. Even with dark circles that stretched to her black eyebrows and gnashing teeth, she was still strangely attractive. In a pitiable white trash way, at least. "I'm crawling out of my fucking skin."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What in the goddamn hell are you talking about?" David couldn't help the increasing volume in his voice. One hand scratched at the back of his head while the other gestured helplessly. At times like this their age difference felt striking. She was barely 20, and he was already inching past 30.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you really going to do this now, Charlie?" He asked in a voice that he struggled to keep even.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can't stand to be around me! We can't even be in the same house together without fighting." She shouted back, stomping one foot like a petulant child. The white of her eyes were ringed with red. A lit cigarette between her fingers, ash drifting to the hardwood floors.  "I can't live with you anymore. I can't fucking be here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where the fuck are you going to go?" He asked while gesturing with both hands wildly. David always spoke with his hands when he was worked up. The embarrassed heat in his face was only making him more upset. "You don't have any friends. You don't have any family. You don't have any fucking money that I haven't given you out of my own goddamned fucking paycheck."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who would fucking want you?" It was only after he said that, he realized he had crossed a line. The pretty little girl he kept at home could take a verbal lashing. Yet, there were still some things that she couldn't let go.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She threw her duffle to the floor with a noise that felt deafening in the now quiet home. Their eyes remaining on one another as they waited for someone to make the first move. In one fluid movement she knocked a vase off the nearest end table onto the floor. The glass shattered against the hard wood with enough force to send its shards skittering towards the other end of the room. It caused him to jump like he was nothing more than a spooked cat.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He was shouting again. His arms tense at his sides, palms open and facing her. It was the same way a man came towards another man in a fight. The same way a long time lover came to meet an embrace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All Charlie did was lift her head a little higher in response. He moved so fast that she hadn't realized he struck her until his fist pulled away.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shit! Look what you made me do!" He shouted as he stared at the offending hand as if it had grown a mind of its own. When his eyes returned to the girl in front of him, blood had begun trickling out of her nostrils.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You hit me." The blonde said dumbly, bringing her fingertips to her nose only to pull back and stare at her own blood. It wouldn't have felt real if it hadn't been for the pain radiating through the entirety of her face.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn't the first time he had laid his hands on her. There was still yellowing fingerprints left on the skin of her throat right below where her jaw met her skull. Her cheekbone still covered in a fading purplish blue. She had a habit of acting as if every single time was a surprise. How could it be so surprising when she instigated every god forsaken fight?<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He caught the way her eyes darted to the front door before she even made the footwork to bolt for it.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Effortlessly, he caught her by the crook of her elbow and threw her back into the wall . She would've fallen to her knees if he hadn't used his grip on her arm to bend it behind her back. Her shoulder popped as he pinned her, her head bouncing off of the freshly painted walls.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you trying to get the fucking cops called on me? Is that what you want?" She whimpered as she pressed her free hand against the wall. Her fingers still holding onto her lit cigarette.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not a fucking monster. I had never laid a hand on a single woman until I met you." His lips were at her ear, close enough his clean cut mustache brushed against her skin. He was young enough and charming enough it looked cute on him rather than creepy.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've given you everything a girl could want and how do you pay me back? You goad me into hitting you like we're playing a game of fucking chicken." He twisted her arm a little harder. "Don't act like this isn't what you wanted Charlie."<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hadn't said a single coherent word, instead squirming and whimpering like some kind of animal. David couldn't stand how childish she acted sometimes. How could she cower away from him like he was some big bad wolf?<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes couldn't move away from the cherry red tip of the cigarette that hadn't left her hand. The way she smoked in the house when she was manic drove him up the fucking wall.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You want me to hurt you, huh? You stupid little bitch." The low tone of his voice was far more frightening than when he screamed. His hands had to roughly pry away the cigarette from her grasp. She always had to test him.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stick out your tongue. I'm only going to ask once." Despite how terrified she seemed to be, the way she opened her mouth could've been described as eager.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without hesitation he pressed the burning tip to the flat canvas of her tongue. It wasn't until her legs stopped kicking and her crying softened that he let he stubbed cigarette butt fall to the ground.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You liked that, didn't you?" He asked, dragging the nails of his free hand down her back until he reached the hem of her night gown. Rather than lift it, he jammed his hand underneath it, her lack of underwear making it easier for him to force his fingers against her slit. "You're really </span>
  <em>
    <span>wet?</span>
  </em>
  <span> You're really sick in the fucking head, aren't you?"<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn't respond. It could've been the pathetic way she was keening and crying with her face against the wall. It also could have been the fresh burn on her tongue. Either way she didn't do more than flinch when he pressed her bent arm harder into the small of her back.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I never wanted to do anything like this. Never even entertained the thought." He sighed into her hair. "You have this weird fucked up thing about you where you can take a man and get him all riled up. You can get him to the point where he'd gladly bash your head in no matter how good of a guy he is."<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His grip on her loosened as he began to pull away. "Then you go ahead and try to make it seem like it was their idea in the first place. I would've never hurt you, but don't you remember? You asked me to. You did this."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even with a light grip, it took little effort to use his hold on her arm to throw her down onto the glass covered floor.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll treat you the way you want. I'd do anything for you Charlie, I really would." The timbre of his voice was growing more and more distinct. The subtle growl and the way his vowels curled with a hint of his once backwoods accent. He grabbed a fistful of her short   hair at the base of her skull.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stop it! You're hurting me, David!" She was screaming as he dragged her across the wood floor and down the hallway. Her legs kicked out uselessly as she struggled to keep him from ripping out a handful of her hair. Slivers of glass piercing through the bare skin of her legs.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stop with your fucking screaming! The neighbors are going to call the cops if you keep it up." The brunette tightened his grip as dragged her into the bedroom. He hauled her up just enough that he could throw her onto the bed. Only pulling away from her to slam the bedroom door shut.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"For all your goddamn caterwauling, we both know you'd never really leave me." He stood at the foot of the bed admiring her waifish figure even as she sobbed into her hands. "Who else could love you like I do?"<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tugged down his flannel pajama pants and let them fall to his ankles. His hard-on was already straining against the thin fabric of his briefs, wet spot of precum visible. With one hand he palmed at his erection, using the other to keep steady as he lowered himself to his knees on the bed. Her thin body was so inviting underneath him. It didn't matter that she was crying or that her bloody nose had soaked the low cut of her nightgown. The satin made it seem like a child's watercolor.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You made me like this. I used to be such a good boy." He hummed as he pushed up her thin nightgown. Her thighs had always been pleasantly thick, hatch marked with thin scars and pink stretch marks. The most recent mental breakdown had left row after row of inflamed razor cuts across the top of her thighs. His hand drug down her thighs until his nails met the paper thin scabs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The yelp that left her mouth almost made him shiver, his now rosy fingertips creeping towards her inner thighs.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She always kept her pubic hair the way he liked it, completely shaved. He could see the fingertip bruises his own hands had made across he pale skin. David didn't know if he could get any harder.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He drew one finger across her soaked cunt. The pink lips of her pussy were puffy from arousal, and the cold of his skin against it made her instinctually jerk away.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shh." He hushed her. As if only for her benefit he brushed the pad of his thumb against the swollen nub of her clit. He massaged her in gentle circles, enjoying the little moans that broke through her crying. "You're so wet. You want me to hurt you so bad, don't you?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he climbed over her and to the other side of the bed, she almost missed his touch. Charlie almost let herself put her own hand between her legs. It was so humiliating to be so turned on by him beating her. Her tongue still burned.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he returned his hands were full. In the left a bottle of lube and in the right hand a bullet vibrator.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't have to make you feel good, you know that? I'm doing this because I love you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If she could've crawled away she would have. The tone of his voice made it very clear however, that she didn't have a choice in the matter. The egg shaped vibrator was connected by a wire to a little box with a tiny switch. It was a girlish sex toy shade of pink that had always made her cringe. Without bothering to prep her tiny hole, he used two fingers to shove the bullet into her cunt.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The blonde gasped with pain as the girth of it stretched her out. As soon as he was satisfied with how deep it was inside her, he flipped the switch.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The strong vibration had her instantly rocking her hips. There wasn't any friction or way to get relief. Just the incessant hum of cold metal in her pussy. It didn't feel good in a way she could recognize.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're clean down there for me, aren't you?" He asked as he once more fit himself between her spread legs. For a moment she had no idea what he meant, too focused on the pleasure that never fully manifested. As he probed her asshole with his pointer finger she finally caught on to what he was asking.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Uh huh." She mumbled with her eyelashes fluttering as she bent her head backwards. All she could think about was how full she felt. It kept her ignorant to the sounds of her boyfriend tugging down his underwear and pouring lube onto his own cock.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Charlie didn't begin to panic until the head of his cock was pressed against her hole.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"N-no. I'm not ready." She stuttered as she attempted to pull back. His hands caught her hips however and drug her back to him. "It'll hurt."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know." He said softly.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without further preparation he began to push the head of his cock inside her. As she cried out and tried to pull back again, all he could focus on was how good it felt. She was so tight and so warm.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've stretched you out before." He said between uneven breaths as he leaned over her. The shadow of his body covered her figure completely. "You nearly fucked yourself on my fingers. I know you've just been fantasizing about me fucking you raw."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their height difference made it so when he bent down his lips brushed against her forehead. "Your ass feels so fucking good, Charlie."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every inch he pushed further inside of her, made her even more assured she couldn't take anymore. That didn't stop her from pressing one hand to her own cunt. Index and middle finger rubbing impatiently at her clit as the vibrator pulsed inside her.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're going to split me in half. You're going to kill me." She said in between soft moans and incessant tears. Once she began crying it took hours for her to stop.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Quiet down, crybaby." He said light-heartedly. As if she wasn't covered in bruises and he wasn't forcing himself inside of her. When he finally managed to fit his entire cock inside her tight asshole, a shiver made its way up his spine.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck." He moaned against her skin.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It still hurt terribly. The feel of him beginning to slide slowly in and out of her however, was distracting. She felt so full with both a vibrator inside her and his cock deep in her ass. Her clit was swollen underneath her fingertips.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're a little slut, huh?" He gave her a lazy smile as he watched her play with herself. At this point he was barely moving his hips. She was underneath him crying and rocking her hips against him. Fucking herself with his cock as her free hand palmed at one now bare tit.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nnhm." She whined, breath still shuddering with the force of her choked little sobs.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was enough to make him lose control. He used both hands to hitch the back of her knees over his shoulders. His body pressing hers so tightly to the mattress that her thighs were flush against her chest.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This deep inside her he could feel the faint buzz of the vibrator. Every shudder or twist of her frame felt against his chest. Her arm was pinned between them, fingers still teasing her own clit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With one hand he smeared her blood and drool across her face, before pressing a firm kiss against her lips. His breath ghosted across her skin as he buried himself deep inside her.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It didn't take more than that for her to come undone.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only word to describe her orgasm was violent. Her back arched as she threw her head back into the mattress. Every muscle in her body tense as she bucked her hips with increasing desperation. Her jaw so tightly clenched she didn't make another sound.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt so good that it hurt.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His thrusts were growing more and more impatient. He tried to hitch her limp legs higher over his shoulders. All he wanted was to be deeper. He wanted to be closer to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Jesus Christ-" He hissed between gritted teeth.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His knees buckled as he came. All he could do to keep from collapsing on top of her was to fist his hands in the sheets on either side of her head. It felt as if she had milked every drop. His own cum beginning to leak out of her from around his cock.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took all of his effort to push himself back to his feet, their old bed frame creaking underneath them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looked beautiful with her baby face tucked behind her hands. The vibrator inside her pussy was still on, her breath still desperately uneven as it began to push her back over the edge. Her tight asshole dripping with his creampie, cum smeared across her night gown and their flannel sheets.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't remember the last time he felt so helplessly in love with her.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're my girl." David hummed as he climbed back on top of her, threading his fingers through the tangle of her blonde curls. "It's just you and me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Forever."</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Charlie is more or less a compartmentalized version of what I find wrong with myself. David isn't inspired by anything in particular. He's just an avatar for those fears, and everytime a partner of mine reaffirmed them.</p><p>Feedback if you have any would be appreciated.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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